In the last few years, more and more people have talked about “finding your bliss” or “doing what makes you happy”. But how realistic is that?
Every time I hear that, I get an image of the scene from Love Actually:
That would be my “bliss”: a beautiful background, peace and calm to sit and write my heart out. But that begs the question: How realistic is that? Given today’s market, not very realistic or practical.
I found an article on Psychology Today with a title that I LOVED: The Pursuit of Happiness Never Ends Well. It said something I definitely agree with “Happiness is a state of being, not a pile of stuff.”
But I’m going to take that a step further. “Happiness is a state of being, not a state of bliss.”
There are many, many ways for you to “find your bliss” in life. God knows I LOVE being a writer, being able to sit down and tell my stories and actually make money doing so. But is it a state of bliss? Absolutely not. Writing is hard work, and that’s before I get into the editing, proofreading, marketing, and everything else. Plus, seeing as I’m still near the beginning of my writing career, I have to have the “day job” to pay the bills until I’m making my millions off my novels.
But if I was to spend all of my time on the “bliss”—in this case, writing the fun stories—I doubt I’d live very long. I’d end up starving because the “fun” doesn’t pay the bills. No, to do that, it all comes down to good old fashioned hard work.
I’m firmly of the opinion that you should find your bliss, but you can’t spend your whole life in the endless, exhausting pursuit of happiness. Happiness is something you find in small things in your life. For me, it’s being able to write dark fantasy novels. For someone else, it’s the time they spend fixing their car on the weekend. For still others, it’s gardening or playing with their dogs or taking their kids to the park. The state of being that is happiness doesn’t have to be your entire life.
I believe that many people end up unhappy as a result of their pursuit of happiness. They focus all of their time and energy on finding that one thing they think should make them happy. When they don’t find it—or they discover that one thing isn’t enough to make a person happy for the rest of their lives—they are dissatisfied and thus expend even more energy in the vain pursuit of something else they latch onto as their bliss.
Look for the things that make you happy. If you can find a way to make those happy things pay the bills, even better. But don’t make that pursuit of happiness your life’s mission. Find a way to be happy where you are with the things you’re doing. Don’t be bouncing from passion project to passion project just because you’re not deriving the sense of satisfaction you think they should give you. Nothing will ever be 100% blissful. Happiness is a temporary state; a deep-rooted sense of contentment with your state in life is what really matters.