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My First Failure: Editing

Is it just me, or does submitting a book to an editor feel a bit like failure? Painting, writing, and drawing are all forms of art, and art is something that comes from within. It's kind of like exposing your innermost thoughts and feelings, and letting the world tell you what they think. It's hard for me as a first-time novelist, and I'm dreading the moment that I get my first negative review. It's like my novel is my baby, and someone's going to point out, "Wow, that part of your baby is really ugly!" I'm a perfectionist - particularly when it comes to writing fiction - so I try to write as if I never needed to edit anything. I try to make everything 100% grammatically correct, with perfect punctuation, sentence structure, and so on. I cannot leave loose ends in my story, so I try to tie everything up nicely for the reader (for myself, essentially) before the book ends. So, when I send the book to an editor to be corrected, it feels like I'm failing. I failed to write a 100% awesome book, meaning that I am not 100% awesome! One of the worst feelings in the world for me is to think that I have failed at something I thought I was good at - or I'm not as good as I thought I was. This is why it was so hard for me to say, "Gods be damned, I need to hire an editor." Reading over my book now, I'm glad I did. When I sent it in to an editor, he sent back the first couple of chapters, and boy were there a lot of comments! There were no plot holes or serious boo-boos in the writing, but the editor brought up some really interesting points that I would have missed or simply deemed unimportant to the story. Editing feels to me like a failure, but the sad truth is that it's really not. No one is perfect - not even me! I have to accept that I am going to be flawed in my writings, and I can't blame anything on "It's the writing style" or "I left that in on purpose". Sometimes, as a writer, you just screw s*** up. If you were to leave the work unedited, other people would notice the glaring mistake that slipped past your gaze simply because you were the one that wrote the thing. I have to be willing to accept that I'm going to make mistakes in my writing, and I'm not just talking about the occasional typo. I'm going to make some huge mistakes, and I'll need a friendly, fresh set of eyes to help me correct those mistakes. Once they are corrected, the book will end up being a whole lot better in the long run. As much as it feels like failure to submit your manuscript to the oft-cruel hands of an editor, trust me when I say that it's going to make that manuscript a bazillion times better. Here's hoping the editor is gentle with my works…